Late..

Well the salary payment is late!!! What a crock, i wanted to go and take advantage of the sales this morning and see what stuff i could pick up cheap. It's more than likely going to be paid alot later today or maybe even tomorrow. Pisses me off a little really as we all signed some paper a while back saying that our payemtns would definately be paid tenth of each month. I was sort of hoping that i would get to pick something up for Roberta for a surprise when she arrives here wednesday, still maybe it'll be there by lunch time.

I'm waiting for the post to arrive here, I had to ring and find out where my books have got to as they are supposed to be here after two days but i guess with the weekend they are going to take a little longer. I called and asked about my stuff and they said its in the mail so i hope it'll arrive this morning or afternoon. I wanna go to SBS though as the website doesnt always list all of the special offers they have in the store, example: once i went to the store and they had some grammar dictionaries for just R$10 on promotion. also one of my friends wants me to find out how much the biggest maps of the USA cost there, not sure why he wants one though hehehe!

I have to get a package ready to send to the UK, some stuff that we got together for my mum and dad. We had to check on a few things here at the post office as things arent always as simple here as in the US or UK when it comes to sending things out of the country. Just sending something like a packet of seeds has to be checked as Brasil has strict laws about biopiracy but luckily the ones i wanna send there shouldnt be any problems. I picked up a couple of things from the tv tower in Brasilia to send too, i like getting this hand made sort of stuff to send back home. I hate sending that touristy type stuff back as its so boring and dull. Who wants to have a boring rock with Greetings from Brasilia painted on it? hahaha! They have some hand-painted stuff that i got and also some statues hand-carved out of wood too as well as other stuff i dont remember. I dread to thing how much its going to cost to send this as its going to be a little heavy. Nice thing is mail from here to the Uk only takes around ten days or so. Mind you getting mail into Brasil isnt as easy, im sure there are light-fingered people working in the post office here, most of my packages from the UK never get to me and asking at the post office is a waste of time as they cant tell me anything useful. You have to keep reminding yourself all the time your here that its not a first-world country, either that or paint a BIG sign for your house to hang on the wall to remind you ;-)

I found a great letter online that someone apparently wrote to complain about their isp's customer service. Its so great that i copied it here so you guys can read it too. Man i was pissing myself when i read it for the first time hehehe!!

The wrath of Paul

St Paul wrote to the Corinthians, this Paul wrote to his cable provider...

Dear Cretins,

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone.

During this three month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions.

Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office.

My initial installation was cancelled without warning or notice, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive.

When he did not arrive at all, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... how?

I alleviated the boredom to some small degree by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept. The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum.

Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After several further telephone calls (actually 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks) my modem arrived ... a total of six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.

I estimate that the downtime of your internet servers is roughly 35%... these are usually the hours between about 6pm and midnight, Monday to Friday, and most of the useful periods over the weekend. I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 telephone calls on my mobile to your no-help line this week, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers.

I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back), that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back), that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off), that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed), that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman.... and several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no-longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum - incompetents of the highest order.

British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you.

I suggest that you do likewise, and cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief - although these feelings will quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps a small measure of bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you, and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become dessicated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and it's worthless employees.

Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats,

Yours psychotically, Xxxx Xxxxxxx

Paul

Christ, i bet the people from the company must have been in stitches when they got this in the post hahaha! Its nearly as good as when someone from British Gas hacked the automated bill system and started adding evil messages to peoples gas bills. I would have loved to get one of those bills, just imagine how much it would be worth after some time :-)

I'd better go check and see if they paid me yet hehehe!!